The short answer
Parents' rights in Islam begin with kindness, even when a parent urges associating partners with Allah. Al-Isra 17:23 to 24 and Luqman 31:14 to 15 set this out, and Sahih al-Bukhari 527 places kindness to parents right after prayer on time in its list. A child does not obey such a parent, but still keeps them company kindly.
What does the Quran say about parents?
Al-Isra 17:23 puts kindness to parents straight after the command to worship Allah alone. It then turns to old age, when a parent's need is greatest, and tells the child not to say "fie" to them or push them away, but to speak a gracious word.
۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا
Verse 17:24 gives the child a prayer to make: that Allah have mercy on the parents as they cared for the child when small. The verse does not say whether it covers a parent who is not Muslim, and this page states no view on that.
Luqman's advice in 31:14 gives thanks to Allah and to parents, and recalls the mother's hardship in bearing and weaning the child. Verse 31:15 sets the limit.
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا ۖ وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
If parents strive to make the child ascribe partners to Allah, the child does not obey them in that, and keeps them company kindly in this world. The verse sets no other limit, on money or on decisions.
What do the hadith say about parents?
The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was asked which deed is dearest to Allah. Ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him, reported the answer: prayer at its appointed time, then kindness to parents, then jihad in Allah's cause.
Sahih al-Bukhari 527
ثُمَّ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ
thumma birru al-walidayn
then kindness to parents
1AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 527
The order is the point of the report. Kindness to parents comes second, after prayer on time. The report does not say that it outranks every other deed in every case.
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that a man asked the Prophet who deserves his best companionship most. The hadith gives the answer as his mother, three times, and then his father.
2AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 5971
The report answers who comes first. It does not explain the order, and it ranks no one after the father.
Abu Bakrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet named associating partners with Allah and being undutiful to one's parents among the greatest of the major sins.
3AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 5976
Undutifulness to parents is named next to shirk (associating partners with Allah). The report gives no punishment, and it does not make every disagreement with a parent a major sin.
Abu Hurayrah also reported that the Prophet said a person is humbled into dust who sees one or both parents in their old age and does not enter Paradise.
4AuthenticSahih Muslim 2551
This is a warning about a missed chance. The report does not say that a child who falls short is lost, does not name anyone, and does not say that serving parents is the only route to Paradise.
Abdullah ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet said: the Lord's pleasure is in the parent's pleasure, and the Lord's anger is in the parent's anger.
5Graded hasan or sahihJami' at-Tirmidhi 1899
Al-Tirmidhi grades it hasan (good), but says the companions (students) of Shu'bah transmit it without raising it to the Prophet (that is, without attributing the words to him), which he calls more correct. Later scholars differ: some grade it sahih, and the sources list gives each grading. The report does not tell a child to obey a parent in disobedience to Allah.
What do the sources say about family ties?
Jubayr ibn Mut'im, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet said the one who severs the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.
6AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 5984
Abdullah ibn Amr reported a further point: the one who maintains ties keeps good relations with relatives who have cut him off, while the one who only repays a kindness is not the one who maintains ties.
7AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 5991
Abu Hurayrah reported that a servant's supplication keeps being answered unless he asks for sin or for the severing of family ties, or grows impatient and gives up. The report gives no date or outcome for any request.
8AuthenticSahih Muslim 2735c
What about difficult cases?
A parent who is not Muslim
Asma' bint Abi Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her, reported that her mother, who was a polytheist, came to her in the Prophet's lifetime. She asked whether she should keep good relations with her, and the Prophet said yes.
9AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 2620
Luqman 31:15 gives the same limit: no obedience in associating partners with Allah, and kind company in worldly affairs. These sources do not say how far other duties reach to such a parent, such as maintenance, inheritance or prayers for them. We have not checked how the classical books treat those questions, so this page states no view on them.
A parent who is harmful or unfair
The sources above set the limit on obedience and the duty of kind company. They do not cover abuse or safety, and this page gives no ruling on either. If a parent is harming you, speak to a qualified scholar you trust and to a support service where you live.
Asking a parent's permission for a voluntary act
A man asked the Prophet's permission to join jihad. The Prophet asked whether his parents were alive, and when he said yes, told him to exert himself in their service. Abdullah ibn Amr reported this.
10AuthenticSahih al-Bukhari 3004
The report gives one case. It is not a general rule that a parent must approve every journey, study or voluntary act.
Can you pray for your parents?
Yes. The prayer in Al-Isra 17:24 is one the verse itself gives: asking Allah to have mercy on them both as they cared for the child when small. The verse does not say whether it covers a parent who is not Muslim, and this page states no view on that. The sources here promise no reward for saying it and set no time for it.
When to ask, and who
Not covered here: abuse, personal safety, and family law in England, Wales or Scotland.
- A parent who is harming you: speak to a qualified scholar you trust, and to a support service where you live.
- Legal rights: speak to a family solicitor.
Family ties come up in many places in the Quran and the hadith. Reading what the sources say about them showed how much is set out as duty, and how much is left to judgement.
Try it: three questions
Pick an answer; each one explains itself.
1In Sahih al-Bukhari 527, which deed comes straight after prayer on time?
Answer: Kindness to parents. Kindness to parents is second in that answer, before jihad. Source 1
2When asked who deserves your best companionship, whom does Sahih al-Bukhari 5971 name first?
Answer: Your mother. The hadith names the mother three times before the father. Source 2
3Does Luqman 31:15 tell a child to obey a parent who urges partners with Allah?
Answer: No, the child keeps them company kindly but does not obey them in that. The verse says not to obey them in that, and to keep them company kindly in this world.
Questions people ask
What are parents' rights in Islam?
The Quran commands worship of Allah alone with kindness to parents, gentle speech and a prayer for their mercy (Al-Isra 17:23 to 24). Luqman 31:14 to 15 adds thanks to parents and the mother's hardship. Sahih al-Bukhari 527 places kindness to parents right after prayer on time in its list.
Must I obey my parents in everything?
No. Luqman 31:15 says that if parents strive to make you ascribe partners to Allah, you do not obey them in that, and you keep them company kindly in this world. The verse does not settle other disputed matters.
Is disrespecting parents a major sin?
Sahih al-Bukhari 5976 names being undutiful to one's parents among the greatest of the major sins, next to associating partners with Allah. The report names no specific punishment in this life.
What dua can I make for my parents?
Al-Isra 17:24 gives the words: my Lord, have mercy on them both as they cared for me when I was little. The sources here promise no reward or set time for saying it.
What if my parent is not Muslim?
Sahih al-Bukhari 2620 reports that the Prophet told Asma' to keep good relations with her mother, who was a polytheist. Other questions, such as maintenance and inheritance, are not answered on this page, which states no view on them.
Sources
Every claim on this page comes from one of these. Gradings are reported with the scholar's name; we do not grade hadith ourselves.
- 1
Ibn Mas'ud asked the Prophet which deed is dearest to Allah. He answered: prayer at its appointed time, then kindness to parents, then jihad in Allah's cause.
Sahih al-Bukhari 527 Book 9, Hadith 6
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- 2
A man asked the Prophet who deserves his best companionship most. The hadith names his mother three times, then his father.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5971 Book 78, Hadith 2
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- 3
Abu Bakrah reported that the Prophet named associating partners with Allah and being undutiful to one's parents among the greatest of the major sins.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5976 Book 78, Hadith 7
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- 4
Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said a person is humbled into dust (the words are repeated in the Arabic) who sees one or both parents in their old age and does not enter Paradise.
Sahih Muslim 2551 Book 45, Hadith 10
Authentic: in Sahih Muslim
- 5
Abdullah ibn 'Amr reported that the Prophet said: the Lord's pleasure is in the parent's pleasure, and the Lord's anger is in the parent's anger.
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1899 Book 27, Hadith 3
Graded hasan or sahih: Hasan (Al-Tirmidhi); Sahih, later hasan (Al-Albani); Sahih, raised (Al-Albani). Remarks: the companions of Shu'bah do not raise this report; Khalid ibn al-Harith raised it (Al-Tirmidhi)
- 6
Jubayr ibn Mut'im reported that the Prophet said the one who severs the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5984 Book 78, Hadith 15
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- 7
Abdullah ibn 'Amr reported that the Prophet described the one who maintains ties as the one who keeps good relations with relatives who have cut him off, and described the one who repays a kindness separately.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5991 Book 78, Hadith 22
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- 8
Abu Hurayrah reports that a servant's supplication keeps being answered unless he asks for sin or the severing of family ties, or grows impatient by saying he prayed without a response and then gives up
Sahih Muslim 2735c Book 48, Hadith 127
Authentic: in Sahih Muslim
- 9
Asma' bint Abi Bakr said her mother, who was a polytheist, came to her in the Prophet's lifetime. She asked the Prophet whether she should keep good relations with her; he said yes.
Sahih al-Bukhari 2620 Book 51, Hadith 52
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- 10
A man asked the Prophet's permission to join jihad. The Prophet asked whether his parents were alive; when he said yes, the Prophet told him to exert himself in their service.
Sahih al-Bukhari 3004 Book 56, Hadith 213
Authentic: in Sahih al-Bukhari
- Q
Quran verses quoted: Al-Isra 17:23-24 and Luqman 31:14-15.
Tanzil Project Uthmani text, CC BY 3.0. English: adapted from Marmaduke Pickthall's translation (1930), modernised and checked against modern translations.
Next
- Nikah, mahr and walimahLesson
- What is a hadith? A beginner explanationLesson
- Sadaqah jariyahLesson
- Start at AlifThe hub
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